The BEST alarm clock you will ever buy!

Mami, Papa, is it morning yet?

The regular morning call in our house that arrives anywhere between 3.30am and 5:00am, 

which is inevitably followed by...

Is it dark?

Yes.

Then go back to sleep...

5mins later.....Mami, Papa, is it morning yet?

Can you hear anyone else?

No...

Then please, go back to sleep...

5mins later.....Mami, Papa, is it morning yet?

Oh FFS!!!! Is anyone in the house walking around?

No...

Then before I go nuts, please...GO. TO. SLEEP....!!!!!

10mins later.....Mami, Papa, is it morning yet?

..........Oh F*** it, lets just get up!

Small has never been a great at night, even as a tiny baby he was an extremely light sleeper, the slightest thing would wake him, when he grew out of that phase we had a few months of better nights and hoped that was that.. 

Then, having a pretty wild and creative imagination he went through the whole "monsters in the room" thing, so I devised some tricks to help him through that little period
( See my blog "Banish Monsters Under the Bed, Forever" ) 

After about 5 years of trying every trick in the book Small got into a routine and started sleeping from 7pm until around 6am..pretty much perfect for our busy life in Switzerland where everything seems to start early..
The whole getting up thing is not good for me, I'm very much the night owl but.. I have slowly adjusted my "Never get up before 10" Musician lifestyle to a more acceptable Swiss style routine...made all the more painful when I must be out very late at a show following a very early morning with the boys...

Recently both BIG and Small have started to want to get up super early again, fine within reason on a school day but, we'd like at least one day of the week where we can get up after 6am if possible...

We started looking for kids clocks that would help them stay in bed just a little bit longer and did the whole telling the time thing..But, the boys would often get confused with second hand and the hour hand etc and just end up asking ... Is it 6 o'clock now?  Back to the drawing board then!!

A few weeks ago, a tip off from a friend who was suffering a similar fate, drew our attention to the fantastic CLASSENS  "Kid Sleep" Alarm Clock

An analogue and digital clock featuring a night light which can be set to illuminate a little cartoon at Bed Time which changes at Getting Up Time...

CLASSENS Kid Sleep

This genius little device makes it so easy for the hooligans to understand "Time" 

At night the little sleeping boy is illuminated and then at 06:30
(or a time of your choice) the little boy playing football illuminates. 

Literally overnight, the questions stopped and we got a lay in until the footballing character unleashes our boys for the day ahead...perfect!

You can find boys and girls versions in a variety of styles here:

http://www.kid-sleep.com

and here on FACEBOOK

Banish Monsters Under The Bed...FOREVER!

At some stage in most young children's life they develop a fear of the dark, of monsters or beastly things hiding in cupboards and dark corners or under the bed. These fears, whilst tempting to brush off as a parent,  can seem very real to the youngster.  

At early developmental stages the young mind finds it very difficult to differentiate between fantasy and reality, what to us is clearly a bad dream or a shadow in the darkened room can be a very real fear to a young child. These very real fears can lead to sleep disruption, fear of the dark and fear of bedtime. Causing untold stress and sleepless nights for a young family, trust me, I know...

Small had this very problem for a number of months and so after many sleepless nights, trying leaving the door open, testing night lights, bigger teddies and a whole host of other things including spending many nights on the camp bed next to him,  I took to researching the different areas of child psychology where these fears were explored.

I happened on a number of articles that discussed using lavender aromatherapy spray to help the child relax and other suggested placing a favorite soft toy in a scary corner and added those ideas to a few of my own...

My boys love superheroes and each have a favorite soft toy that they can't sleep without, they also love pictures and things to hang on the wall. With all of this in mind, and being a bit of a cheapskate, I created The Anti-Monster Kit 

Firstly I roped in my friend and talented designer Joe Holdsworth to create some super graphics based upon my ideas..
We devised a cardboard door sign for their bedroom doors "No Monsters Allowed" Turned their favorite Bear & Rabbit toys into superhero cartoon characters which I printed onto thin card and laminated. I then labeled an empty mister spray bottle with the 'Anti-Monster Spray' label, and made a pocket sized Door Sign 'No Monsters Allowed' Card (like a football referee would carry) with all of these items prepared,  I wrote some instructions, printed them out, put them and al the other items in a little plastic box, stuck a label on the top and it was time to put it to the test........ 

Here's what i did

Door Sign

How It Works.

The door sign can simply hang on the bedroom door.

The  superhero cards are stuck on the wall or placed in the room wherever the child thinks the monster or whatever it is that is bothering them, maybe hiding. Could be under the bed, behind the door, in the wardrobe....wherever. 

After placing the cards you, or the kids, can liberally spray Anti Monster Spray (nothing but air) onto the cards and anywhere else they think monsters maybe hiding. 

The red card stays in the bed and at anytime if the child is scared they can hold up the card (like a referee) and say "No Monsters" 

On occasion they may wake in the night, seeing a quick spray from the Anti monster spray bottle can be enough to allow your monster to quickly re-settle to sleep....

Here are the instructions I wrote out for BIG and Small 

Box Label & Spray Bottle

THE ANTI MONSTER KIT INSTRUCTIONS

Monsters can be terribly troubling things can't they?

Although they may seem scary and can come in all shapes, colours and sizes, it's very important that you remember they are more scared of you, than you are of them!

You see monsters really aren't very brave at all, in fact they are big scaredy cowardly custards... that's why they like to hide from us, that's not very brave at all is it? 

Now, do you know what monsters are most scared of?

Monsters are terrified of you, super heroes and most of all, special anti-monster spray!!

That's why, in this box you will find some very special things to help keep the monsters away from your room, special things that will make sure that they go somewhere else and let you have your room all to yourself.

Firstly you will find a nice sign to hang on your bedroom door, this sign will tell the monsters that they aren't allowed in your room at all, never.....and if they do, they'll be in big trouble!

Secondly you will find four superhero cards, these special pictures can be put in the places in your room where monsters like to hide, maybe behind the door, under the bed or in the cupboard. Mama or Papa can help you stick them up with blu-tack in the places your monsters like to hide, before you go to bed.

Thirdly you will find a special bottle of never-ending, magic Anti-Monster Spray, the one thing that ALL monsters are most scared of. The magic spray can only be seen by monsters, so it's very important that you spray the places where your monsters like to hide. 

Spray the picture cards you got in this set and spray any other places you think monsters might like to hide, you can do this just before you go to bed. 

Also if you wake up in the night and feel scared, maybe you can ask Mami or Papa to give a quick spray around the room,  Just incase....

Lastly and most importantly you will find a special red card! monsters hate to see the Red Card...If you think you see a monster, hold up the card and shout "NO MONSTERS" 

Let's practice now.

***********************

HERO Card

This became a regular routine before bedtime for a number of months, it had an immediate effect on Small's confidence & sleep pattern, and it really helped him conquer his fear of the dark, One night he just simply said..."We don't need that anymore Papa, The Monsters are all gone away". 

It worked for us...I hope these ideas might work for you and yours too!

Images ©Joe Holdsworth 

JUMP!

Jump!

It seems BIG and Small may well ( much to Mrs S' horror ) take after their father when it comes to outdoor activity...

As a lad I was a mad keen BMXer and Sk8r, indeed I still have my original BMX but alas, my old skateboard is long gone...

And so, it was with great delight that BIG decided, after a school holiday trial at the local skate park on a borrowed board and a ride of PaPas old BMX, skating and BMXing was just the thing he wanted to do..

With permission from the good lady of the house, lucky little BIG got a terrific BMX and Skateboard for his Birthday / Xmas present and we started to practice..

BIG likes to think BIG and was determined that the large kicker ramps and quarter pipes were his first point of call, thankfully I managed to convince him that we should start a little smaller..

He dutifully practiced his flatland board skills and we both ( like I wasn't going to have a go! ) started jumping small ramps on the bikes using the rubberised surface at the school play ground and an old bit of chip board and log fashioned into a rudimentary ramp.

As ability grew so did confidence...the "one log jump ramp" wasn't enough and neither was the flatland skating so it looked like I had to get my tool box out and build stuff!

"I want a ramp Pa, so I can practice at home when you aren't here.."

Right then, the last ramp I built was in 1987 and allowed me and my neighbour to jump his Dads Audi with our Raleigh Burners..I didn't want to go quite that far so decided upon a smallish kicker ramp that would enable the boys to practice Skateboarding and BMX skills and would serve them well enough to be able to jump the neighbours cars in a few years, if they so desired.

I knew I wanted a 30 degree pitch that was wide enough to allow bike and board to practice kick turns and tall enough to provide a challenging jump as the boys skills progressed.

I made a plan and drove off to the local DIY store with a tape measure and 60 swiss francs.

I returned 30 mins later with a square sheet of solid chip board cut to size in the store, Four lengths of 5cm square hardwood, Four x lengths of 4x2.5 cm hardwood, some hardboard, a bit of paint, some screws and set to work on the terrace..

The Ultimate DIY Kicker.

First I screwed three 4x2.5cm battons to the underside of the ramp deck on the outside edges and down the centre making sure I pre-drilled the holes so the screw heads didn't protrude from the  deck.

I then cut the upright posts to a length which gave me a 30 degree rise on the ramp and attached them with 6 countersunk screws down through the ramp deck.

I then laid the ramp on the floor to mark out the supports and bracing for the outside edges and centre.

Once those were cut to size and shape I fixed them all in place with countersunk screws and added a cross brace to the rear for extra strength

 

Then I tacked on the hardboard front edge transition lip with small zinc tacks and we were done! 

Time to test....

When BIG, Small and I had tested it for durability, we got busy painting..

Now we've got a great board/bike ramp that's tough enough for all the neighbourhood kids ( And Dads ) to use for many years to come! 

And now that he's had a ramp to practice on at home, BIG is ripping up the race track on his BMX and riding the quarter pipe at the skatepark...even small has got in on the action!

 

Dad & Lads day out at the track!

ALWAYS WEAR A HELMET AND PADS!!!

Learning to read.....again

I have always loved to read, from a very young age I had my face stuck in a book of some kind or another. It was always a great way to escape to some fantasy world and it did wonders for my imagination.

As a parent and having a nice collection of actual, real books in the house, I was very keen to pass on this particular interest to my boys when they reached an appropriate age. Since they were very tiny I have always enjoyed reading them stories at bedtime. Classics like The Tiger Who Came to Tea, The Little Mole Who Thought It Was None Of His Business (Pop Up Edition) and The Gruffalo, have become firm favourites for an early evening read before bedtime.

When BIG started school, at much later age here than in the UK, I was very disappointed that they didn't even broach the subject of reading for the first couple of years so, I took it upon myself to  get BIG reading well in English.  This I did by raiding Amazon for as many Peter & Jane Ladybird books as I could find. It was amazing to relive all of these great books and their amazing illustrations from my childhood with BIG. Thanks to their brilliant design he very quickly got a strong grasp of what he should be doing and would happily sit with me and read a couple of these books each night..

Finally, this year,  the school have started to teach reading in German,  BIG is very good at working out all of the complicated pronunciations and germanic sounding letters and very rarely mixes up his German & English sounds...it's like the roles have almost been reversed...

My spoken German language skills you see, are passable at best but, my German reading skills leave much to be desired! 

When Mrs S. is working and I am home in charge of all things domestic, I'll happily help BIG and SMALL with their homework.. It's every night and they have a little Homework plan so we know what they have to do, the subjects cover Maths, writing practice and of course reading which they now dread because, and i quote...

"Papa is rubbish at German"

Yes, unfortunately, they don't do Peter & Jane books in German, or I couldn't bloody well find any so, I'm basically buggered...

During Reading practice (Wednesday) If there's a word that none of us understands how to pronounce, we can either wait until Mama comes home and dispenses a withering look at Papa for getting it really wrong... or we can listen to the hilarious computer generated voice on my PONS German Dictionary App and try to copy it as best we can.

I say we but, actually mean ME. The boys are obviously very quick to wrap the often complex sounding words around their "zweisprache"(Double Language) tongues leaving Papa struggling to say Fahhrad (Bike) with the right conviction...

I'm basically learning to read again, it's hard and if I'm honest, I much prefer being Papa the story teller, master of suspense and adventures than Papa the idiot who can't even pronounce the German word for Duck.....

Working for Auntie Beeb

A number of years ago, before I was married with kids and living in the U.K...I used to supplement my gigging income with some teaching for a local music authority. Basically I would travel around the county to various schools and teach Drum Kit, Snare Drum, Tympani, Percussion to small groups of kids or 1-2-1 lessons.

There was one particular school I visited which was a very well to do, private, fee paying school and was literally overflowing with amazing music gear for the students to explore.

I had a couple of group percussion ensembles and 6 individual students learning snare drum and drum kit, they were a really great bunch but there was one young lady (Lucy, 6yrs old) who just stood out, she had a gift with music and had an amazing sense of humour, way, way beyond her years..

I later found out her father was a comedian, which really came as no surprise at all

Anyway, one morning I arrived at school after a hard night of gigging and was resplendent in my sensible trousers and shirt (A dress code expected by this particular school) and was busy setting up my teaching room for the day when, in strolls Lucy with her little music bag and drumsticks under her arm.

Good morning Sir, she said offering me a polite little hand shake...Good morning Lucy, and how are you this morning? 

Oh, you know, same shit, different day! she quipped, stifling a laugh I asked her to set up her music stand for the lesson. As she unfolded the stand she was watching me intently...

Sir, do you work for the BBC? she asked with her head tilted to the side.

Yes Lucy, I do work for them on occasion, how did you guess that? I asked

I knew it! Came the reply...

You've got an earring, Dad says it must be a bloody term of employment for the BBC these days..

:   PS: What is Auntie? Older UK audiences used to refer to the BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) as Auntie, said to originate from the older presenters (your Auntie) who presented kids TV in the 50-60s and from the term of phrase "Auntie Knows Best"

Pool Fart

We are very lucky to have had a pool installed in the garden last summer.
This new addition to our household has enabled Big and small to master the art of swimming very well. However, due to the harsh Swiss winter and a seemingly endless (and very autumnal) spring this year, I have yet to uncover the pool for the season.

This means that on the occasional Sunday morning Mrs S will decide that it's time for the entire clan to hit the local pool for a couple of hours....

And so this past Sunday we loaded up and headed off to the local baths.

Aside from the usual chaos and laughter from our hooligans in the communal changing room, all was well with Big and small swimming and diving and jumping and generally going nuts.....

After a while Big jumps out of the pool and runs up onto the raised platform for diving, at the top of voice he shouts for my attention....


Hey Pa! Listen to this....

Before I can reply, he let's rip a colossal fart that echoes around the bathing hall..

"Farts are even better with a wet bum!" he enthuses, as parents turn to look at me and his little brother howls with laughter.

And then of course small joins in " Yeah, and in the water you can make bubbles out your bum, look"........


I'm opening the garden pool asap, I don't care about the cold anymore......

The Motorhead

The wife and I take our youngest and most accident prone hooligan (small) to a kind of reiki therapy to balance him up,calm him down and keep his feet on the ground... 

It's a bit freaky-deaky and initially I was extremely sceptical as to wether paying a vast amount of $ for small to lay on a table and have a very kind lady do some magic on him.....I have no idea what happens, but just assume it's some magic thing...obvs! 

But, to my surprise, it really seems to work well for him...

So, we were there last week after his latest head related mishap, this involved him falling off his BMX and impaling himself by the forehead,on the brake lever, a very relaxing Sunday bike ride! 

Anyway,  whilst he's on the table having a kind of a head massage thing, he says to the therapist, ever so politely, 

"Frau Doodah, what is this music?" 


"This is meditation music Will, do you like it?" she replies 

"No it's rubbish, please turn it off, do you have any Motorhead?"


Proud :D